By Frank O’Donnell, WPRO Comedy Contributor
The governor signed the state’s new $8.2 billion budget last week, calling it “an exercise in compromise, collaboration and cooperation.” Looks like the state’s new Alliteration Department was working overtime on that speech.
It looks like we’ll have to wait another year to have an official state appetizer, after the Rhode Island State Senate adjourned without taking action on the motion to elevate calamari to that lofty position. Insiders report that the stuffed quahog lobby pulled some last-minute strings.
The Department of Environmental Management issued some warnings this week on how to keep that elusive black bear away from us. One of them was to take down bird feeders. Note to DEM officers: If you see a large furry thing at the bird feeders in my backyard, it’s most likely me, so please, stand down.
Who says the Rhode Island General Assembly doesn’t know what it’s doing? Thanks to the new medical marijuana laws, many Rhode Islanders didn’t get as upset as they could have in response to the overuse of now legal fireworks by their neighbors.
Yesterday was World Chocolate Day. As long as you like your chocolate molten, yesterday was a good day for you.
Anyone else want to feel old? Burt Ward, the actor who played Robin in the old “Batman” TV series, turned 68 last week. I overheard that while enjoying my Denny’s early bird special.
Scientists have found that an overuse of electronic devices by young people can cause short-term memory loss. But really, who needs a memory when you know how to use Google?
Wendy’s is rolling out a Pretzel Burger – ground beef, cheddar cheese, thick bacon on a pretzel bun. Defibrillators cost extra.
A new study shows that women are often afraid to tell their bosses that they’re pregnant. Even more so if it’s the boss’s kid.
A new survey shows that cheating wives tend to shop at stores like Banana Republic and Macy’s. If you happen to run into your wife at one of those stores, I know a good lawyer.
Joey Chestnut set a new world record last week in Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, downing 69 wieners in ten minutes. He immediately went back into hibernation, asking for a wake-up call next June.
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Frank O’Donnell
