By Frank O’Donnell, WPRO Comedy Contributor
A black bear is on the prowl in Smithfield. If you see him, officials warn that you shouldn’t bring up the Bruins losing to the Blackhawks. He’s still a little touchy.
News reports say that Patrice Bergeron played the last game of the Stanley Cup finals with a broken rib and a hole in his lung. If he were a baseball player, the calling hours would be Tuesday from 7 to 9.
The Rhode Island House of Representatives set aside $2 million in the state’s budget to use “predictive modeling and analytics technologies” to ferret out Medicaid fraud. First step: find a representative who actually understands what that means.
The Rhode Island House of Representatives also voted last week to require driver’s education classes for a Rhode Island license be completed by a driver’s training school in the state. Because clearly, no one from Massachusetts knows how to drive in Rhode Island.
The state’s Health Insurance Commissioner last week approved health insurance rates for 2014 that he termed significantly lower increases. Yes, my head is spinning too. I sure hope my insurance covers that.
If you think that drinking will help with that condition, consider this: the House also approved a reduction in the sales tax on wine and liquor while approving an increase in the excise tax on wine and liquor.
The Rhode Island House approved a resolution to ceremonially ratify the 17th Amendment to the United States Constitution. The Amendment actually became law in 1913, but Rhode Island never got around to ratifying it. Talk about tabling a motion.
A new state tax credit that would have rewarded manufacturers in Rhode Island for hiring new workers was suddenly removed from the state’s budget last week. Because our manufacturing base is so very strong – just like our employment picture.
The House of Representatives did approve $10 million Municipal Road and Bridge Revolving Fund to help improve the state’s roads and bridges. The first $10 million ought to cover Smith Street in Providence, from South Main Street up to Francis Street.
The House voted overwhelmingly to approve the budget’s article 9 which includes a change in the way businesses can depreciate their assets, a change in the appraisal method of farmland, an exemption from sales tax on locally-produced art – and oh yeah, $1 million in extra income for Newport Grand. Yeah, because those items are all very similar.
Ed Markey beat his Republican opponent in a special election last week to fill John Kerry’s vacated Senate seat. I know. A Democrat winning a Senate seat in Massachusetts. Did not see that one coming.
My question of the day: If you find yourself agreeing with someone you’re convinced is crazy, does that mean (a) you’re crazy too or (b) he got better?
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Frank O’Donnell
