By Frank O’Donnell, WPRO Comedy Contributor
Congressman Langevin and Senator Whitehouse toured the brain laboratory at Brown University this weekend. Regrettably, they will not be able to bring any back to Congress or the Administration, which will have to remain brainless.
A woman in West Warwick was arrested for allegedly stealing $8,000 from Boy Scout Troop # 1, which has now changed its motto from “Be Prepared” to “Hire A Forensic Auditor.”
The Rhode Island Ethics Commission voted last week to establish a statute of limitations of six years for filing an ethics complaint. Which means in Rhode Island, even ethics has an expiration date.
The University of Central Florida has been in discussions with the founder of the Institute for International Sport – you know, the big empty building just down the road from URI that’s in the midst of some major litigation – to their campus in Orlando. I guess Florida’s too far away to get the news from Rhode Island, huh?
News reports claim that the NSA has been keeping track of just about everyone’s use of social media. I can’t wait to see what Grumpy Cat thinks about that…
There’s a new scientific study that suggests that use of marijuana can help prevent brain damage. Which is good, considering the number of face plants suffered by your average stoner.
I got the new MapMyRun! app for my cell phone. I’ll turn it on when I’m walking around the office, just to see how long it takes to develop an attitude about being underutilized.
Dunkin’ Donuts introduced its new Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich last week – fried egg and bacon inside a glazed donut. You can choose a side order of hash browns or a cardiac stent.
Kim Kardashian says she plans to eat the placenta after the birth of her baby. Um, Kim, the expression is, “You are what you eat,” not the other way around.
Researchers at Purdue University have developed an invisibility cloak. Here’s hoping they can throw it over Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Soon. Very soon.
The executive producer of “American Idol” has been fired after 12 seasons. Next up: a new reality series. “So You Think You Can Be An Executive Producer.”
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Frank O’Donnell
