By Frank O’Donnell, WPRO Comedy Contributor
The Rhode Island State Senate last week voted to legalize same-sex marriages. In related news, the statue on top of the State House is being renamed the Fabulous Man.
A new Gallup poll says that Rhode Island is the saddest state in the union. The new state motto is Hopeless.
In related news, singer Taylor Swift, who’s responsible for some of the saddest songs and lyrics in history, reportedly bought a mansion in Westerly last week for $17 million. That ought to be good for an entire album of sad songs.
The average cost of going to a prom has risen to just over $1500 in the Northeast. Even more if the kids decide to have food.
Notre Dame’s Manti Te’o was not picked up in the first round of the NFL draft. His fake girlfriend, however, was the number one draft in the NFL Fantasy League draft.
Governor Chafee is meeting with out-of-state business journals this week to try to market Rhode Island. Let’s hope none of those writers know about the Gallup poll.
Central Falls’ new mayor took a trip to Quonset Point this week to find ideas for economic development in his city. Now if he could just figure out how to turn Dexter Street into an airstrip…
Brown University is offering an honorary doctorate to actor Ben Affleck in May – but first, he has to apologize for “Gigli.”
The US Treasury the new $100 bill last week. According to the design, Benjamin Franklin was once the Queen of England.
I got an email the other day that started with “this is true and not one of those emails you see on the Internet.” Oh, well in that case, I’ll be happy to help you deposit those millions you’ve managed to steal from that oppressive government.
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Frank O’Donnell
