Frank O'Donnell, WPRO Comedy Contributor
The City of Warwick has decided to stop pursuing the $10 fine levied on the infamous Cursing Cockatoo. The cockatoo’s owner was relieved. The cockatoo’s official statement: “It’s about f*&%ing time!”
The Great Calamari Debate continued last week as lawmakers tried to decide if fried squid should become Rhode Island’s Official Appetizer. If the move is successful, the Governor plans to turn the guard shack outside the State House into a calamari drive-through.
First things first. If the calamari bill passes, the Governor has to sign it into law. Using squid ink, of course.
Penny the Library Cat was just visited by Oscar the Nursing Home Death Cat. The controversy in Swansea could be over soon. Very soon.
Governor Chafee likened himself to the political Piñata of the Day in a recent interview. Within hours, hundreds of Rhode Islanders had circled the State House, waiting for their chance with the wooden stick.
Providence Police are looking into a drive-by shooting over the weekend on Friendship Street. Anyone having information is asked to call the Irony Squad.
I started watching the “Walking Dead” marathon last week. It took me three hours to realize I had accidentally tuned into another damn filibuster on C-Span.
An elderly man was pulled over last week after traveling 11 miles the wrong way on the Mass Pike. He’s going to have to surrender his license – or move to Florida.
Boston Mayor Tom Menino announced that he won’t be running for reelection. He’s accepting a new job as diction coach at the Colonial Theater.
Scientists have discovered a Chinese herb that helps reduce hot flashes. That could explain the lines of menopausal women around the Pagoda Garden.
